Choices

I have to say that as I sit here on a Sunday morning I am thinking of the fact that the Lord is utterly and totally faithful. I need to say that He is so incredible and carries us through and for that I am incredibly thankful.
There are ups and downs with my health. It comes in waves and well I am thankful for being able to accomplish more at home and with the kiddos. I am so thankful for the kids to be the ages they are and to be so able to adjust and role with whatever a day brings......

O.K. I have struggled some with my attitude and ability to say what ever happens I will except. I really think this life is about the Lord stripping us of ourselves and preconceived notions of what is success and looking to Him to define that...... I have sooooo much to learn and sooooo much farther to go but one thing the Lord has impressed on me is that we need to be focused on Him alone. We all have trials and things the Lord is taking us through for His glory alone so what are we going to do with this?

I have to accept that I can not be everywhere at all things........ I can not commit and do alot of the things I desire...... but one thing I know is this. The Lord desires our whole heart and our willingness to submit to Him and His plan..... He does not want part of us or a halfway commitment but all of us completely..... there are so many things I want, long to do. But when you are set aside and physically not capable you learn to go with it or go crazy......

I guess what I am trying to say is I struggle with this. I get lonely and it is hard to be set aside and at home alot. Parenting from a bed, chair or floor. But I have seen the Lord give me moments with my kiddos and hubby that I may not have if He had not slowed me down.

I think of Job and at the end of the book he says that he has truly seen the Lord. It was not until after the Lord had carried Him through the trial and stripped him of himself that he could say that......

Each one of us is going through the refining process. Whether we allow it or not to change us is our choice but it is and will happen...... what is our response going to be.......

This is the question I ask myself all the time..... I may not see/ know what the Lord has planned for all of this but our lives and the things we go through are not in vain unless we do not praise the Lord and allow Him alone to mold us through them.......

Appearances are one thing...... the world is watching us and what should we show them is important...... following the Lord with our whole heart, giving Him alone our all, grace with one another and understanding that His plan for each of us is different and what He takes us through we are commanded to love one another and bear each others burdens........

I guess one thing is appearances....... my ducks are not always in a row. Actually quite rarely. But where is my heart and motivation coming from..... this is the most important thing we must ask ourselves. I think the thing I struggle with most is pride...... I struggle with being sick because it makes it very obvious that I do not have it all together..... but the Lord does and PRAISE HIM alone for that......

That is all. I just needed to write out the things I have been thinking on and praying....... if not for anyone else just so I can look back and know what was happening at this point........

What is the Lord teaching you? What is He longing for you to give Him. What lessons are you learning.......